This is an actual Mormon wedding announcement picture. Maybe it seemed like a good idea at the time to simulate sex in front of the Larry H Miller Megaplex 13. It's totally innocent to wrap your leg around your man while he kisses your breasts and you close your eyes in eternal extacy. I'm sure Joseph and Emma sent out a similar picture to all their friends, extended relatives, former and current wardies, elementary school teachers, mission companions, and "converts" when they got married. This is less of a wedding annoucement and more of a "we're going to do this with out clothes" annoucement.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
"Hey Grandma, Uncle Bob and Bishop McGivens, We're getting married!"
This is an actual Mormon wedding announcement picture. Maybe it seemed like a good idea at the time to simulate sex in front of the Larry H Miller Megaplex 13. It's totally innocent to wrap your leg around your man while he kisses your breasts and you close your eyes in eternal extacy. I'm sure Joseph and Emma sent out a similar picture to all their friends, extended relatives, former and current wardies, elementary school teachers, mission companions, and "converts" when they got married. This is less of a wedding annoucement and more of a "we're going to do this with out clothes" annoucement.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Like A Blogger Posting For the Very First Time
So this may come as a shock to you but I’m a virgin. I know, hard to believe right? This is as far as I have ever gone and it feels amazing. I always pictured myself waiting for marriage. I see all my childhood friends with their cap sleeved puffy wedding gowns and then later they post pictures of baby Kenidee or Triffany and I think that’s what I want, a blog sealed for time and all eternity in the bonds of holy matrimony. But I just couldn't wait.
Now here I am with a Corona Light and a can of low fat sour cream and onion Pringles giving it up. Honestly it feels great, just raw, unprotected blogging. I may blog all night. And the best part is I don’t have wait until baby Triffany is asleep or my husband is finished home teaching. I can do it whenever I want! I feel so liberated I might do other things that are only reserved for marriage, like buy a couch, get a mortgage, or have sex.
Now you may think that’s the Corona Light talking but we all know it’s a Blockheads margarita that really gets me talking. (Or doing other things. Hot guys take note.) But honestly, I’m like, what’s the big deal. Once I gave up the dream of doing the deed with my eternal husband, a clueless virgin, I thought, hey, why not have sex with someone who really knows how to do it.
Married Mormon sex scared me. I guess I’m still a little scared of non-Mormon sex too. Lucky for me, secular men are scared of virgins, so I have a little while to get used to the idea. I need some time to work up to indulgence. Did I mention I was drinking a Corona Light and eating low fat Pringles? I’m taking baby Triffany steps.
Now here I am with a Corona Light and a can of low fat sour cream and onion Pringles giving it up. Honestly it feels great, just raw, unprotected blogging. I may blog all night. And the best part is I don’t have wait until baby Triffany is asleep or my husband is finished home teaching. I can do it whenever I want! I feel so liberated I might do other things that are only reserved for marriage, like buy a couch, get a mortgage, or have sex.
Now you may think that’s the Corona Light talking but we all know it’s a Blockheads margarita that really gets me talking. (Or doing other things. Hot guys take note.) But honestly, I’m like, what’s the big deal. Once I gave up the dream of doing the deed with my eternal husband, a clueless virgin, I thought, hey, why not have sex with someone who really knows how to do it.
Married Mormon sex scared me. I guess I’m still a little scared of non-Mormon sex too. Lucky for me, secular men are scared of virgins, so I have a little while to get used to the idea. I need some time to work up to indulgence. Did I mention I was drinking a Corona Light and eating low fat Pringles? I’m taking baby Triffany steps.
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